The first, in a deadpan, resigned voice - came from the last rider in a group of eight or so roadies in Richmond Park midweek.
"Ok, lads. If you haven't noticed, that is actually us being passed by a full-suspension mountain bike."
Second, from my clever and sensible 17-year-old daughter.
"Dad, when will you accept you are NOT French. Even though you shave your legs and ride a bike, it does not make you French...."
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