When the man comes around

The incomparable NewYorkBikeSnob is fond of identifying signs and portents of what he believes is the forthcoming apocalypse -- according to him, at least one of the four horsemen will be riding a Bianchi track bike on the road.

I think I may have seen further evidence this morning of the imminent arrival of that fateful day.

I was trying to sneak in a quick training ride between rain showers when a pop and an unmistakable squidgy feeling announced a blown front tyre.  No disaster -- I had tools, a pump and a spare tube and, anyway, I'd just passed a branch of Evans, so I could get another spare tube for the onward journey. 

So I found myself in the bike shop, deserted except for one assistant, and another customer in front of me -- an expensively-dressed twenty-something whose Specialized race bike was propped up against the counter beside him. 

I'm not sure what model it was (to be honest, all Specialized and Trek's look the same to me) but there was a lot of carbon and it clearly wasn't entry-level.  He appeared to be buying a Specialized branded water bottle.

The conversation went -- verbatim -- like this:

Assistant:  "Is that everything, sir?"

Customer:  "Yes, thanks. Oh, do you do servicing here -- because I think my bike needs one?"

A: "Yes, of course"

C: "How much do you charge?"

A: "It's 55 pounds plus parts for a standard service"

C (clearly outraged): "What? You charge 55 quid for putting a bit of oil on the chain?"

A: "Er, no -- if you want us to oil your chain, we'll do that free, but the service means we adjust everything."

C (still outraged, staring at his bike): "But....it's a bike! What is there to adjust?"

A: "Er...gears, brakes, hubs, wheels - that sort of thing"

The customer stared at the assistant, then at me, tugged down the legs of his Assos shorts and departed without another word -- clearly convinced he was the victim of some massive leg-pull.

And during this conversation, I swear I heard the sound of ghostly horse-hooves heading through the Wandsworth one-way system.